Love in a Space Elevator

Please watch the most exciting video I've seen in the last fourteen days.
Also, I want to listen to the soundtrack while I fall asleep. Or while I eat.

The Best of Yahoo Answers: Hamster Edition

This post was originally going to be called: Top Ten Things I Want To Throw A Hamster Into  but I couldn't get any farther than the Bootie Butler, seen below.

Rather than abandon the topic of hamsters completely, I thought I'd take a moment to answer a few hamster related Yahoo Questions. Let's start with an easy one.

A: Hello Ryan and, whoah, great question. A lot of people would tell you not to throw the hamster at all. I'm not that kind of people.

While the answer is certainly subjective and the final decision is yours and yours alone, my advice is to throw your hamster at your dog's face moderately hard. Imagine tossing a whiffle ball to a toddler. That's about how hard I'd throw your hamster at your dog's face. Keep in mind that you may only get one shot at this. I'd say there's a 50/50 chance that your dog will eat your hamster immediately.

Why I Drink

This is basically what it's like every time I get drunk. The only thing missing is chain-smoking. Otherwise, just imagine me wandering around bars and city streets doing this and you've pretty much been out drinking with me.

Food, not poop

Don't you try to embarrass me. That's not a fucking butt pie, you asshole.

That's morning-after, largely failed mole.

You have to understand that I'd never seen a 100 Percent Cocoa chocolate bar, and when I happened upon one on my most recent impromptu culinary escapade, it simply seemed like a good opportunity to see what I'd been missing. Besides, I couldn't find what the chosen recipe suggested, something called "Mexican Drinking Chocolate" in a small cardboard box printed with the image of a creepy old lady. I had no idea what I was in for.

Unavailable for questioning